Today, London wept with me.

December 4, 2008 at 10:30 am (Uncategorized)

I’ve been here more than a week, and I have under a week left of my trip. I met an old school friend of mine for lunch today at a cafe across St. Paul’s Cathedral, it was cold, much colder than the past week. As I walked from St. Pauls back to Russell Square, the university of london halls are all there, then walked back to Holborn into a familiar waterstones bookstore where i picked up a few books. Walking through Covent Garden and bypassing the strand always makes for a nice detour and yet another sad reflection that the next time i do this could be… in a very very long time. Then there’s the river. The bridge and the constant cold gusts of wind as i crossed it. I took some time to just take it all in this time. I never ever did this as a student. That strange feeling of elation mixed with utter disgust and regret, the kind that makes you just want to look forward and move on all the time. And then, it started to get even colder. The rhetoric of a person who just wasnt ready to move forward just yet. I wasn’t ready and i felt sad.

I want to do this all over again, I want to do this differently. I want to do this with you. The person who I never knew. The person who was so near yet so far. I want to learn from you I want to start over and erase and rewind everything. But i know i can’t. While i am standing still you’re moving forward. And I know that soon, i’ll be left behind. Anyway..

Tomorrow I will be going to Epsom where i feel just as attached to, there perhaps, because the chapter closed properly… I was able to just walk. 
Lets try again. And try really hard.

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